My Love and His
by Hades'Queen
Summary: PLEASE READ! Sinistra is in love with Remus, but what can she do when her friend is in love with Narcissa Black? OneShot. Please Read&Review.


**Disclaimer:** Characters don't belong to me blah, blah, blah you know the deal.  
  
**A/N:** I am fully taking in advantage of the fact that I have absolutely nothing to do this summer. I'm also taking advantage of the fact that my Microsoft Word is finally working again. This takes place in the Marauders sixth year.  
  
**Summary:** Sinistra is in love with Remus, but what can she do when her friend is in love with Narcissa Black? One-Shot. Please Review.  
  
**My Love and His**  
  
"Good morning Remus, James, Sirius, Peter," Athena Sinistra said with a smile as she looked at the four marauders. They had always been good friends of hers. She was someone that they could always count on to be there for them. She was a very bright girl, or course you would suspect that since she was a Ravenclaw. She had long black hair that was always tied in a bun and her eyes where deep blue and looked like the ocean. She was a very pretty girl, but not many guys where interested in her. She was known to be a little too much of a dreamer. She always had her head in the clouds. "How are you guys this morning?" she asked as she looked at them.  
  
It was a pleasant Monday morning. The sun was shining down on the grounds and it was still warm out on the count it was early September. She looked at Sirius who was looking up at her with a strange smile on his face. Remus was currently staring at the Slytherin table, which made Athena feel bad because she knew exactly whom he was staring at, James was looking down the tale at Lily and Peter was looking up at her. "The day always seems to brighten when you're here," Sirius said with a smile. Athena merely rolled her eyes since she knew that Sirius merely considered he something like a sister.  
  
"What classes do you guys have today?" she asked as she looked at them. At this point Remus turned to look up at her.  
  
"We have double period of Potions with Slytherin, Charms with Hufflepuff, and Transfiguration with Slytherin," Remus responded as he looked up at her. "What about you?" he asked as he looked up at her.  
  
"Care of Magical Creatures with Hufflepuff, Ancient Ruins, Transfiguration with Slytherin and Herbology with Hufflepuff," she responded.  
  
"Are you actually going to eat breakfast this morning?" asked Remus as he looked up at her.  
  
"No, I just came in to talk to Lily," she responded as she looked at him. A look of concerns suddenly came over his face.  
  
"You know you can't just survive on eating once a day Athena," he said as he looked up at her. "What's wrong? I mean you used to eat very healthy but now you eat once a day." She looked down at him and she knew that there was no way that she would ever tell him what was wrong with her. She had harbored feelings for him since she was thirteen. He knew of those feelings and he had returned them. But he had always been to shy to make a move on her and she was too old fashioned to do the first move. She also always believed that he would always be around, but she was quite wrong about that. In the beginning of their fifth year he had started a friendship with Narcissa Black, which had become more than just a friendship.  
  
"Nothing, I'm just busy," she responded with a half-hearted smile. He looked at her skeptically, but said no more on the subject. She turned to look at Sirius who was just giving her a look. She had known Sirius all her life; he was like a big brother to her. He knew exactly what was bothering her and he knew why she was eating well. She knew that he thought that Remus belonged with her, and not with his cousin Narcissa, but he could do and say nothing. They both knew that Narcissa loved Remus, but that she would never marry him. After all she was already betrothed to Lucius Malfoy. And they also knew that if Narcissa ever found out Remus was a werewolf that their relationship would come to an end.  
  
"I will see you guys later than," Athena said as she quickly turned away and walked over to where Lily was sitting. Lily was the only girl in the entire school and she liked to talk to and that she had a friendship with. She stood there and soon Lily turned around and looked up at her. "Lily are we going to meet in the library later?" she asked as she looked at her friends. Lily merely nodded and Athena than left the hall. She did not look back.  
  
Care of Magical Creatures and Ancient Ruins went by painfully slow. The entire time she could not concentrate on what the teacher was talking about. She was too busy thinking about what Remus was up to in Potions. She guessed that he was probably sitting there in between James and Peter the entire time staring at Narcissa. And she imagined that Narcissa spent the entire period staring at him as well. She sighed miserably as she walked from her ancient ruins class to the library. When she reached the Library she found Lily already sitting at a table. She walked over to her and sat down with her.  
  
"How was Potions this morning?" she asked her friend as she sat down with her. Lily looked at her friends and gave her a sympathetic smile.  
  
"He spent the entire time staring at her. He nearly melted his cauldron because he was staring so much. Athena why do you continue to torture yourself like this?" Lily asked as she looked at her friend. Athena sighed and looked down at her book. She shook her head, as she did not know why she was continuing to hurt herself like this. "You know Athena you may be a brilliant Ravenclaw, but you can sometimes be so very stupid. Let me inspect your arms."  
  
"No I haven't done anything," Athena said as she stood up. Lily stood up and grabbed her friends roughly by the arm. She yanked her right sleeve up and found three very large scars on her friend's arm. Lily looked into her friend's deep blue eyes.  
  
"If you continue to do this to yourself Athena, you leave me no other choice, but to go to my head of house because really I don't know what the hell to do with you anymore. I have harbored your secret long enough. If you don't cut it out than you leave me with not other choice," Lily said as she looked at her friend. Athena looked down and grabbed her stuff from the table.  
  
"I promise you that I will never cut myself again," Athena said. Lily looked at her friend skeptically for she had said this to her before. This was a strange habit of Athena's. She had been cutting herself with knifes and anything sharp object she could find from the age of eleven up. Than again Athena had lived a very tragic life, something that no one deserved to suffer through. Her father had died when she was three. Her mother beat her severely from that point until she was six. She beat her so severely that she was been hospitalized several times in her life. When she was six her mother remarried and the abuse stopped. But soon her stepfather began to sexually abuse her. She was sexually abused until she came to Hogwarts. Her mother and stepfather where still together, but they no longer laid a finger on her. All they did was stay in drunken stupors and argue a lot. "I give you my word as a Ravenclaw."  
  
"Fine, but If you ever do it again you leave me with not other choice than to tell McGonegall," Lily said in a warning tone. "Come on let go to the Great Hall. You haven't eaten anything in days."  
  
"I'm no hungry," Athena said.  
  
"I don't care, I'm not going to let you starve yourself to death," she said as she grabbed Athena by the arm and dragged her to the Great Hall. Once there she made her sit down at the Griffindor table and filled her plate with food. Athena merely picked at her food for a couple of minutes. "Don't make me force fee you," Lily said as she looked at her friend.  
  
"Yes mother," Athena said as she began to shove food in her mouth. She really wasn't hungry and she didn't want to eat, but she would rather eat than have Lily feed her as if she was a little girl. Soon she got up and made her way to transfiguration. All during Transfiguration she spent her time watching Narcissa and wondering why the hell Remus liked her so much. What did Narcissa have that she did have. Okay yeah the blonde hair, the mode-like face, beautiful ice blue eyes, but she had blue eyes too. Except hers where darker, Narcissa's eyes where a paler blue than the sky itself.  
  
The class went by slowly and when she walked out she found Remus standing outside. "What are you doing here?" she asked as she looked at Remus. He looked up at her and soon looked down.  
  
"I'm waiting for someone," he said not wanting to mention Narcissa's name to her. She knew that he was waiting for her. Narcissa soon walked past her and up to Remus. She gave him a hug and soon turned to look at Athena. She gave her a dirty look.  
  
"Do you need something?" she asked as she looked at her. Athena could feel her face growing warm. She felt offended and she felt hurt. She wanted to tell Narcissa just what she thought of her, but she couldn't in front of Remus. If she said what she wanted to say, she knew that she would offend Remus and that he would never speak to her again. And that was something that she simply didn't want. But she didn't deny herself the pleasure of glaring at Narcissa.  
  
"See you some other time Remus," she said as she turned away and walked proudly down the hall. She would not be looked down upon and especially not by that prissy, spoiled, brat. She walked furiously down the hall and made her way to the first floor and out of the castle. She walked quickly to Herbology class and as the light zephyr touched her face she could feel the damn begin to break as a tear broke free and slid down her pale cheek. She furiously wiped it away and walked into the greenhouse.  
  
When class was over she walked into the school and as soon as she got to the staircase she heard someone call out her name. When she turned to see Remus jogging up to her she merely turned away and started to walk up the staircase. Remus was soon walking next to her. "I'm sorry about Narcissa. She's just very jealous," Remus said to her. Athena merely ignored him and continued up the stairs. She didn't even want to look at him at the moment. "Please don't be mad at me. I'm so sorry that I'm hurting you, but-"he started to say as they reached the second floor landing. At this point Athena turned to look at him and she was furious.  
  
"Don't tell me that you're sorry!" she said angrily as her voice quaked with a mixture or depression and anger. "You aren't sorry at all! You don't care if I suffer or not. And quite frankly you are an IDIOT, Lupin!" she yelled as tears began to form in her eyes. He flinched with the end of her sentence. Not because she called him and idiot but because she called him Lupin. "You are in for a world of pain. I fell sorry for you, but I don't even want to talk to you anymore. Don't you dare to ever talk to me and don't you even dare look at me. I HATE you!" She yelled as she turned away and ran up the stairs.  
  
She made her way down the hall and ran as quickly as she could to Ravenclaw tower. She was soon standing outside of the wall and tears where spilling down her face. She couldn't believe that she had just thrown her friendship with Remus away. But she didn't care anymore; she was far too hurt to continue to put up with him. And she knew that she would never have anything with him. That he would never return her feelings. "_Walcnevar_!" She said as she looked at the brick wall. The bricks soon began to shift and soon she was running into the tower and to her dorm. When she ran in she slammed the door closed and through her things on the floor. She crawled into her bed and cried.  
  
At around six in the afternoon a girl she shared the room with opened the door and walked into the room. "Sinistra Sirius and Lily want to talk to you. They are waiting outside," she said gently as she looked into the dark room. Athena was currently still crying her eyes out and had her head buried in her pillow.  
  
"Tell them to go away. I don't want to see anyone!" she said. The girl sighed and walked out of the room. Athena buried her face in her pillow once more, but found that she could not weep anymore. She was all out of tears. Her tears ducts where actually dried up and unable to produce anymore. She than sat up and pulled the curtains around her bed so that no one would see her.  
  
She lay in bed for hours. Her mind was going blank. All she did was lie there and stare up at the ceiling. She could feel the darkness of the room close in around her and muddle up her vision. She could not see anything in the dark. In her minds eye she could see last nights stars and what they where foretelling. Remus and Narcissa where both in for a life filled with pain and misery. Remus and Narcissa would never be together again, not after their seventh year. There was not comfort in this thought, however, even if she didn't wish to see them together. She hated to see them together and she hated Narcissa, but she cared a lot about Remus. She did not want him to suffer.  
  
The hours flew by as she lay on her bed. She heard when the girl walked in to sleep. She head as one of them near by began to snore in her blissful sleep. She could hear their breathing and hear one moan in her sleep. She often wished that she cold slept like the girls that surrounded her. To be able to sleep and dream of lovely things, but she would never have that. Ever since she could remember she had trouble falling asleep. And when she finally achieved sleep, nightmares would come to her and she would wake up either crying or in a cold sweat. She often wished that there would one day be someone to be there for her when she awoke. To hug her and tell her that it was just a dream. To be able to sleep in his arms and know that she would be safe from the world just because he was there to watch over and protect her.  
  
When the clock struck twelve she got out of bed and silently changed her clothing. She put on a simple, long white cotton dress. A dress that clung to her upper body and at the waist got loose. She grabbed her cloak and walked out of her dorm, her wand in hand. She silently made her way through he common room and out of the tower. She crept down the dark hallways that where illuminated only by the light of the half moon. She was soon at the bottom of the Astronomy towers staircase. She walked up the spiral staircase all the way to the very top.  
  
She opened the door and walked through the astronomy tower to a door off to the side. She pulled out a silver chain from her cloak pocket. On the end of the chain she found a silver key. The Professor gave the key to her; the Professor had given it to her on the count that Athena loved the stars so much and did so well in the class. She opened the door and walked out onto a balcony. The balcony was well lit by the light of the moon; no shadows fell on the balcony. Tonight was a completely clear night and it was great for stargazing. The balcony had a thick stone railing big enough for someone to sit on. She walked over to the far left, where the railing touched the wall. She sat on the railing and leaned against the wall.  
  
The night air was very chilly; she had to pull her cloak tightly around herself so as not to feel the chilly. She loved to come up here. It was perfect to look at the sky and from here there was a very lovely view of the school grounds, a view like none other in the entire castle. Her legs where pulled up to her chest and she was hugging her knees. Her chin was currently resting on her arms; whenever she was up here she could feel clarity that she could find nowhere else. She felt at peace and at harmony with the world and with herself.  
  
"What are you doing here?" she heard a male voice ask. The second she heard him she gritted her teeth in annoyance. Her peace was ruined.  
  
"I think the real question is what are you doing here? I am allowed to come up here as I wish, as for you, you have no business up here," she said as she turned to look at whom she was talking to. A dark silhouette was what she saw. "Severus Snape, I might have guessed," she said as she turned to look at him.  
  
"I'm surprised you know my name Sinistra. Especially since you're head is always in the clouds," he said as he looked at her.  
  
"Is that supposed to be an insult Snape? My, my, you're slipping Snape," she said as she shot a glared at him.  
  
"I noticed that you're not talking to you're idiot friends anymore. Have you finally grown a brain and come to your senses?" he asked as he walked over to the balcony railing and stared at her.  
  
"For your information they are still my friends. I've merely decided to distance myself from them," she responded as she looked at him.  
  
"Really, well that's not what Narcissa told all of Slytherin," he said as he leaned on the railing. She than looked at him and screwed up her face at what he had just said.  
  
"And what exactly has the ice princess been telling Slytherin?" she asked as she looked at him.  
  
"Her exact words where _'I have finally succeeded in my genius plan. That starry-eyed twit will never stand in my way again,'_" he said as he looked at her. "I must admit that I was surprised to find out that she succeeded. Just goes to show you that nothing is forever, not even a friendship like the on you had with Lupin." And with than he merely walked away from her leaving her to her own thoughts and how foolish she had been.  
  
She looked up to the sky and the stars. "You're supposed to be here for me. You are supposed to be guiding me," she whispered to the sky. The true reason that she looked to the stars for guidance was because she believed that this was the way her father was trying to guide her through life. When she was younger, the love for the stars was something that she shared with her father. This was his way of walking her through life, even if he could not be there for her himself.  
  
She studied the sky and when she looked off to the left of the moon she found the answer that she was desperately looking for. She smiled to herself and got off from the handrail. She hurried through the halls and made her way to her dorm. She walked in and soon fell asleep. The next morning she woke up early and made her way to the Great Hall. She found Remus sitting at the Griffindor table with his head in his hands. Lily was seemingly trying to consol him. Sirius was sitting on Remus' right and he was trying to talk to him. As for James and Peter, they where both sitting across from him and they where both just looking on. She walked up behind them, James and Peter saw her coming and she flashed them a smile and she brought her index finger to her lips. The both flashed her a smile.  
  
She walked up behind Remus and placed her hands over his eyes. Lily and Sirius both turned and looked at her and when they saw her they smiled at her. Remus grabbed her hands and pulled them away from his eyes. He turned and looked at her with a sad face and she flashed him a smile. He soon stood up and wrapped his arms around her. "I'm so sorry for everything" he said as he began to apologize.  
  
"Remus it's okay," she said as they pulled apart. "I'm sorry about yesterday, I was just hurt by what she had said and the fact that you just stood there and said nothing. Please forgive me for what I said, I just said it in the heat of the moment." He smiled at her and wrapped his arms around her.  
  
"Remus what are you doing?" asked an angry voice behind him. He let go of her and turned to look at an angry Narcissa.  
  
"Oh hello Narcissa, glad you're here," he said to her as he looked at her. He than turned away from Narcissa and looked at Athena and placed a chaste kiss on her lips. When he pulled away from Athena he turned to look Narcissa who was staring at him with wide eyes. "This is the love of my life," he said. Athena smiled as she saw Narcissa's jaw drop and began to giggle as Narcissa stomped away. Remus than turned back to Athena. "Where were we?" he asked as he looked at her. She smiled at him and wrapped her arms around his neck.  
  
**_THE END_**


End file.
